I spent this morning preparing for the mid semester assessment for Visual Inquiry - Reconsidering Traditions. I was quite anxious about this. I had spent a lot of time over the last couple of weeks upgrading my visual diary, closing some great gaping holes in my homework. I mounted my work on the walls and fiddled around with it a bit, getting quite worried about how to "privilege" my work, by positioning the best bits in the most prominent positions. In the end I just put it up so that it fitted the space available. I looked at everyone else's work in the class when it was mounted on the walls, and decided that there was some excellent work displayed, but most students also had some gaps. This made me feel quite a lot better.
I was last to receive feedback, and I reviewed all 6 weeks work. I think I had more to say about my work, than anyone else did on theirs (how surprising!). I was delighted when the tutor said my work had come on tremendously. I think most people in the group liked my work about my Dad, and how the repeated image faded, just like the personality of the person, but also that the background got darker so that the text (which was about what I liked about my Dad) became increasingly illegible as well, because the burden of care responsibilities mean you lose the ability to see what you respected.
I rang Jim to tell him the review had gone well, and positively skipped back to the bus stop, and then back to our flat.
I am still not sure why I have such a reaction to feedback. I get all hurt with negative feedback (even when the voice in my head says "it's fair comment, and well you know it!") and feel so much better and motivated when I get the good stuff. It's probably my inner child wanting to be told I'm a good girl!